Losing the Love of My Life

It’s been almost a year since it happened and I guess I’m more comfortable talking about it now.

Most of you probably don’t know but I was engaged about a year ago. And before I go on, a more detailed history of my love life is that, I’ve never been with a girl for more than a year. Heck! I’ve never been with a girl for more than 6 months, and that was just one girl in college. Every other relationship I’ve ever been in ended within 3 months. But this girl I was going to marry was the first relationship that lasted 1.5 years. Even my long-time friends who hadn’t met her after our 6 months together at that time were like, “Wow! She must be the one then. Since when has your relationship ever lasted this long?”

I met this girl, M, at a drinking party some time in 2014. My first instinct when I saw her was, “I wanna talk with this girl!” I asked her out to Disneyland for our first date a week later but it didn’t happen and we merely went for dinner. I asked her out to Disneyland again for our second date yet another week later and she agreed. On that date, we became a couple. Yes, that was just two weeks after we first met.

She’s wasn’t the first girl I’ve dated since coming to Japan, but she was special. I shan’t go into the details but she isn’t someone who scares easy, and that was what made me decide I want to marry her. Even 1.5 years later, I still want to hold her and kiss her every day.

When my sister, the metaphysics consultant, first learned about our relationship a few months after we got together, she asked for her birth details. I told her and she did her bazi thing and said we’re not a good match. Marriage isn’t going to happen. But when M agreed to my proposal, I took her back to Singapore to meet my family and I was half-grinning from the so-called “victory” that proved my sister wrong. My sister looked stunned for a moment, but she treated M very well seeing that we were going to get married. She’s a great sister. But when we broke up a few months later, I realized Sis was right. If you wanna get your bazi read or need any form of metaphysics consultation like in fengshui or fortune telling, you can visit her site @ Tulipa Xanadu. It was recently rated the top 30 fengshui blogs in the world.

Back to my story: Like every other relationship, there is no just one single reason that caused our break-up. But one of the things that broke my heart the most was about the proposal ring I got for her. I’ve never gotten a proposal ring before and just in case it was too small, I asked the shop to make it a little bigger. Little did I know, it was so big, it couldn’t even stay on her finger. Obviously, we went to get it resized. She told this story to her friend, whom I’ve never met; who knows nothing about me, and whom I don’t know about. Her friend said, “That’s impossible. He must’ve gotten that ring for someone else, got rejected and used that same ring to propose to you.”

She believed it.

Fuck!

She told her mum and landlady, who is also her mum’s friend, about it. Both of them suggested the same thing.

She believed it.

We were together for 1.5 years. But she chose to believe people who knew less about me than she did.

So eventually, the relationship ended. Do I still love her? Yes, I think I do. Would I still want to marry her if she comes back? Very likely. Which is why I am thankful she was the one who wanted to break up with me, because I know marrying someone with such little to no trust in me is a bad decision. Perhaps the poorest decision I might ever make.

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