Recently, one of my friends suddenly messaged me in the middle of the night. To be exact, we used to date so she’s an ex.
I never really understood why people have to refer to their ex-girlfriends as ex-girlfriends because I usually skip that part and just call them my friends instead, since that’s what we are now. Why harp on a relationship long gone? But there’s good reason to refer to her as an ex-girlfriend in this post. That is, it makes this post look juicier. Own it up, voyeurs.
As usual, let’s assign her a letter from the alphabet for privacy protection and ease of typing for me.
LOTD (Letter of the Day) is, S!
So S sent me a message at 1 am in the middle of the night when I was about to go to bed, and her question at a time when our half of the planet is asleep triggered an alarm telling me she’s very troubled. I decided to call her and we got talking for the next couple of hours. Her question:
Is it odd that I haven’t been to my boyfriend’s place despite being together for 1.5 years already?
Seemingly innocent question. But when I got talking with her, I learned that there’s something peculiar about this guy she’s dating. The boyfriend says he’s divorced and lives alone now at the apartment where he used to live with his ex-wife. When S asked him where he lives, he always tries to avoid the question. S obviously got upset and ask why he’s hiding where he lives and his reason is that he doesn’t want to talk about the place where he used to spend time with his ex-wife. Eventually, he told S an address. An incomplete address that only identifies the area where he lives. He doesn’t tell her the name of the building nor the unit number.
But S looked up the address on Google Maps and found out which building that is. And it so happens that she has a friend who knows someone living in the same building. So her friend casually asked this neighbour about the demographics of the residents of the 3-storey building and learned that everyone living there has a family. Nobody lives there alone. Now, this is up for debate because why would your neighbour announce to you his divorce, right?
But S got suspicious. She felt that either he’s lying about being divorced, or he’s lying about the address of where he stays. She nonchalantly asked her boyfriend again what his address is, he recited the address halfway and said, “I forgot the rest of the address.”
How can someone forget their address? It’s not as if he just moved there. S decided to confront him and asked him why he never invites her to his place. He uses the same excuse about his ex-wife blah blah blah. But eventually caved and said he will invite her after cleaning up the place. S offered to help since it might be tough doing it alone and they agreed on a date to do it.
The day came and he told her, “Let’s do it another time.” Because he’s “busy.”
S then recalled a conversation when they first met. The guy said he moved in with his then-wife about 7 years ago when it was newly built. But a quick search about the apartment revealed that the building was built way before then. So, now everything about this guy is getting fishy.
She told me she decided to test him again and ask for the address to see if he’ll give a different one and let me know how things go.
Her Line message came the following day and this was what I received:
I asked his address again and he gave me the same one as the one before, so that is consistent. What’s left is whether he actually still has a family and lied about being divorced, or that the information that only families live there is incorrect and that he is single but lied about it being newly built then.
I could sense her joy and relief in the message but reading it made me sad. Because a few weeks ago, S confronted her boyfriend about where their relationship is going and if he doesn’t want to get married then she’d rather break up. The guy told her that he intends to marry her eventually.
That message she sent me sure doesn’t look like someone talking about a man she’s going to marry. More like a detective talking about a criminal. I kinda feel it’s not going to turn out well even if they eventually do get married. But she seems really positive about marrying this guy because, in her words, “I’m no longer young and I want to have children.”
Not sure if that’s the right reason to get married.